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The Way We Were (and Are)
You may be young, but already you and your fiancé probably have lots of history behind you. Some of the personal aspects of your relationship—how you met or what the two of you love to do together—can give you some great creative ideas.

Delve into your past as a couple. Did you two first meet at summer camp when you were nine? So maybe you didn't know back then that this was the man of your dreams (in fact, you only remember him as the crazy kid who ate 24 marshmallows at one campfire sitting), but now that you are getting married, it may make a fun reference. Perhaps you can all sing the camp song at the reception. (Give the band the music in advance.)

If you met at college, you might want to take a trip down memory lane by toasting in champagne glasses engraved with your college emblem. Many couples who meet in college actually like to return to the campus for the ceremony. University chapels can be a lovely setting for a wedding. A few college songs sung at the reception (perhaps by an a cappella campus group) can round out your reminiscence.

Were you a cheerleader for his football team back in high school? How about a witty arrangement of flowers in a football helmet? A game of touch football for guests the day before the wedding? A casual rehearsal dinner held in a sports bar with big-screen TVs?

Did the two of you meet on a blind date? At the rehearsal dinner, have a blind seating arrangement. Guests pick a table number out of a hat and sit with whoever else is there. Alternatively, make everyone find a seating partner by cutting a deck of cards in half and asking each guest to pick up a card and then go and search for his mate. An added benefit: Everyone will be forced to make a new friend!

Perhaps you fell in love with the help of the Internet. Set up a Web page to keep guests posted on your wedding plans. Send invitations you designed yourself on your computer. E-mail guests with your wedding news.

Did one of you grow up on a farm, the other in the city? Offer a few special guests a bandana in a Tiffany's bag. Run a tape of Green Acres in an anteroom during the reception. Decorate your glittery city-slicker reception site with a few bales of hay.

3.3. There's no better way to mark the occasion then going back to where it all began. If you met in a unique spot that's special to you and your fiancé, add it in to the festivities. ®Richard B. Levine

These wild and wacky ideas are meant to help you start thinking about who you are as a couple—and how your past can be reflected on a day that marks the beginning of your future together. The bottom line is: The things you love about life—and each other—can be worked into your wedding day in humorous, touching, and meaningful ways. These personal touches are at the root of every creative wedding.

Reel Love: Turning to Your Favorite Movies for Creative Ideas
Since movies are a favorite venue for the dating crowd, you and your groom may well have a few movies you remember with special fondness. If you're a real movie buff, or have fallen in love with a particular movie (or with each other at a particular movie), you might consider incorporating movie memories into the theme of your wedding.

Perhaps, like most of America, you were swept away by Titanic. The romance! The adventure! Consider marrying on a cruise ship in turn-of-the-century dress. Romantic music from the movie could be played at the reception. In fact, many favorite movies have wonderful music soundtracks that you can incorporate into your day. What's your favorite?

Little touches here can be amusing (almost secretive) reminders of intimate cinematic moments you and your groom share. From It's a Wonderful Life—bells can decorate a tree at a Christmas reception. From Back to the Future—a Delorean can whisk you away from the ceremony to the reception. From Cinderella—a horse and carriage ride is a must. From The Wizard of Oz—the flower girl can carry an adorable (and hopefully extremely well-behaved) terrier down the aisle in a basket instead of flowers. Use your imagination.

Wedding Classics of Film

In the mood to watch others getting hitched? See if you can find and rent the following movies. Now that you're a bride yourself you'll have a greater appreciation for the fashion, the flowers, the venues.

  • The Love Parade, starring Maurice Chevalier and Jeanette McDonald. You'll love the twenties gown and bouquet!
  • It Happened One Night, starring Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable. Check out the thirties look in this movie about a lavish high-society wedding.
  • The Graduate. It's a sixties romp ending in an interrupted wedding, as Dustin Hoffman steals the bride from the altar!
  • Gone with the Wind, starring Vivien Leigh. What a dress, Scarlett!
  • The Philadelphia Story, starring Katherine Hepburn, Cary Grant, and Jimmy Stewart. A fab forties flick.
  • Father of the Bride, starring Spencer Tracy and Elizabeth Taylor. It may help you keep your sense of humor.
  • My Best Friend's Wedding, starring Julia Roberts. If you're inviting any of his past girlfriends to the wedding, this may help reassure you (or maybe not). Plus, Cameron Diaz throws a great garden party before the wedding. You may pick up a few ideas.



    • At a long weekend or honeymoon wedding, when you and your guests have more time together, there are more ways to incorporate the fun of movies into your celebration. For example, the two of you might want to share comedy classics with your guests one evening before the wedding with a showing of old Abbott and Costello or Marx Brothers features. Play a trivia game related to the movies. The prize? A bicycle horn, of course! If it's going to be a Star Trek night instead, play Star Trek Trivia and make the prize a replica of the starship Enterprise. Star Trek attire is appropriate. Go where no couple has gone before! Serve Mars bars and decorate tables with silver lamé tablecloths. Guests can toast to the bride and groom with, May they live long and prosper! (According to Off The Beaten Aisle: America's Quirky Spots to Tie the Knot by Lisa Primerano [Citadel Press, 1998], one couple actually had a Star Trek theme wedding in a Las Vegas chapel, complete with swirls of white fog, squeaking tribbles, wedding vows in which they promised to "care for each other when your dilithium crystals are low," an assortment of crew members, and Captain "Quirk" officiating.)

    Something True
    The Top 10 Movies of the eighties were (in order): E.T., Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Batman, Rain Man, Return of the Jedi, Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Empire Strikes Back, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Back to the Future, and Top Gun. The top 10 movies of the nineties so far include Jurassic Park, Independence Day, The Lion King, Forrest Gump, Home Alone, Terminator 2, Ghost, Twister, Aladdin, and Pretty Woman. (Source: The Top 10 of Everything 1998 by Russell Ash, [DK Publishing, Inc.])

    Have fun with a prewedding party based on a dance movie like Grease or Saturday Night Fever. Think of women in poodle skirts and saddle shoes dancing to fifties music alongside guys in letter sweaters, or a roomful of people in seventies disco attire.

    The point is to have some fun, make your day personal, and remember the things you share. Let your love speak!

    You Say Potato...Celebrating Your Differences
    When two different cultures meet, the results can be electric. And all those interesting differences can give a couple some wonderful ideas for celebrating. Can Italian antipasto, Chinese dumplings, Spanish music, English tea, Russian wedding rings, and a Saki toast really all coexist happily at the same event? Certainly, most couples don't have quite that many different cultures to incorporate into their weddings, but if they did, they could probably find a way to handle it all. With a little planning, anything is possible! See Chapter 14 for a more complete look at the many and varied cultural and ethnic wedding traditions that exist.

    Something True
    At a Russian orthodox wedding, the bride and groom stand under crowns held by their attendants and drink wine from the same cup as a symbol of their willingness to share experiences. In Thailand couples might wear a "Brahman rope" around their heads symbolizing the ties that bind them together. At an Indian wedding, newlyweds often wear garlands of fragrant flowers around their necks.

    The ethnic additions or cultural touches don't have to be large or pervasive to be worthwhile. Even a nod to the heritage of bride or groom can be a grand gesture. Families appreciate having their cultures recognized and respected. Since this is a day about unions, what better way to celebrate than by including as many different cultural and ethnic additions as possible?

    A beautiful huppah (canopy) used in Jewish ceremonies can be held over the couple and their family, even in a mixed religion marriage. A historic Ketuba (Jewish marriage contract) can be turned into a work of art for both families to enjoy. A bride can wear an ornate, silk Indian sari worked with gold thread to a Western wedding. To honor an Austrian heritage, fiddlers can lead the wedding procession (an early nineteenth-century custom).

    A wonderful place to include ethnic and cultural touches is in the food. Italian wedding knots (Farfalette dolci) can be placed on a dessert table; Mexican wedding cookies (pastelitos de boda) can make a delicious favor. If your family has a special favorite or an old family recipe for a traditional dish, discus it with your caterer or bridal consultant to see whether it can be offered at your reception.

    Consultants Say
    Talk to your parents about what cultural traditions, if any, were a part of their wedding day. Ask about your grandparents' and great-grandparents' weddings as well. You may find some beautiful or interesting cultural touches that you can add to your own day. For more information on ethnic traditions from yesteryear and today, read Chapter 14.

    Music, too, can be a wonderful way to span the ethnic backgrounds of your two families. Bagpipers can celebrate a Scottish heritage; flamenco music can salute someone's Spanish roots. You might consider hiring a special group to perform at a select portion of the party.

    The Crazy Quilt
    Quilts have long been a symbol of love and comfort. With many colorful pieces stitched together into a single piece, the quilt can also be a symbol of the family and friends united on one special day to bless the union of two people. The quilt can be included as a personal touch and kept as a lasting memento.

    Think about asking friends and family members to supply you with one square each for a quilt. Give exact measurements so that everyone's square is the same size. Guests can supply an unadorned piece of fabric, or better yet come up with a lovingly designed square (two appliquéd oars crossed over each other, to remember a canoeing weekend you shared, for example). Later, all the squares can be stitched together to make a fabulous wall hanging in your new home.

    If a large quilt seems too ambitious, think about a smaller, more manageable quilting project, such as a pillow case cover, or for a Christmas wedding, a quilted Christmas tree skirt that could be passed down for generations.

    A simple quilt that involves little advance preparation can be created during the reception itself. Leave pieces of fabric out on a table, allowing each guest to choose his or her own. With indelible ink pens in a variety of colors, guests can sign their names or add a goodwill message. These squares can later be stitched together to form a lovely collection of memories. For more about quilting ideas and practical advice, read The Complete Idiot's Guide to Quilting by Laura Ehrlich (Alpha Books, 1998).

    Creative Corner
    The quilt can do double duty as a huppah (a Jewish wedding canopy). One bride plans to use a quilt made by friends and family to create a huppah for her wedding ceremony. She and her fiancé look forward to a warm and intimate ceremony under the shelter of these expressions of love. Later they can put the quilt on their bed, display it as art on the wall, or put it away as a treasured family heirloom. Another bride used as her wedding canopy the quilt she had on her bed since childhood. For her it represented her past and her family home.

    Guess Who's Signing the Guest Book?
    What makes your wedding different from anyone else's? The guests, of course. The guest book is one time-honored tradition you may wish to incorporate into your creative wedding. A guest book can lovingly record who is in attendance, and their wishes for you. It makes a charming and sentimental keepsake.

    Begin by purchasing a beautiful guest book in white satiny fabric or leather—or decorate the cover of a hardbound blank book, if that's your style. Place the book where it is accessible to all your guests. You might even post a couple of teenagers nearby to remind guests to "please sign in."

    Something True
    The guest book originated in the eighteenth century. From its place of honor on a table by the front door, it kept track of who had visited in the days when exchanging social calls was de rigueur for members of the well-to-do classes. Some pretty impressive lists could be built up in the old days at homes of great social standing! At a wedding, the guest book is less of a "who's who" and more of a "we were there."

    Have a little fun with the book, if you wish. A straightforward list of names, one right after the other, while "historically accurate," is less interesting than asking each person to contribute something of themselves. One Connecticut family I read about asks visitors to their home to sign their names in the guest book, then shut their eyes and draw a pig without peeking. You could try a variation on this theme by asking guests to sign in, then close their eyes and draw a heart with an arrow through it. After all, they say love is blind!

    Creative Corner
    Do you want guests to get wordy? People often have trouble thinking of anything more profound to say than "Best Wishes!" Help them to get a little more personal by giving them a topic to write about. For example, you could ask guests to "Tell us where you think we'll be in 10 years." Or suggest that they answer, "What are your wishes for us today?" You could even say, "Please leave us your definition of love." You'll get remarks that are sentimental, witty, ribald, intimate, and meaningful. What fun this guest book will be to read later! Be sure to give guests clear instructions related to the guest book. Type or print these directions neatly on a heavy white card and place them next to the guest book.


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